Have you heard of the saying, “Marriage often happens when one is eager to get married, and the other doesn’t care either way”?
Think about your own experiences or those around you. Have you seen this phenomenon in marriages?
Some say this is quite practical. Many marriages happen out of unconscious inertia from being together for too long.
One wants to get married, the other is fine with the status quo. It’s hard to find a reason if they disagree on marriage.
It seems like carrying an emotional debt—not getting married at this point would disappoint the other and waste their time.
But if marriage is just a legal confirmation of inertia, many things imposed on it seem unrealistic.
How should one voluntarily comply with the hidden norms of marriage? And do you know what hidden rules exist in marriage?
Excessively Pursuing a Romantic Love Life and Having High Expectations for Marriage
Failure to transition correctly from a love life to a married life leads to an imbalance between ideals and reality.
In marriage, you have a closer legal bond, but you also have more aspects to divide your emotions.
During dating, you focus on each other’s emotions and pursue a romantic life. After marriage, you have to consider each other’s families and daily necessities.
These differences become more apparent after having children. Your alone time decreases, defined here as emotional interaction and effective communication.
Some people struggle to adapt, causing turbulence in the early stages of married life.
Overly Relying on Parents and Seeking External Intervention
Some people are like giant babies, lacking the ability to handle problems independently.
So, when issues arise, they instinctively seek help. While they believe parental help is beneficial, it might not be.
First, parental advice may not fit your current situation, as it stems from their own experiences.
Every family has its own challenges, and not all solutions are universal. No one can truly empathize with you; ultimately, you must bear the consequences.
Secondly, the primary solution to problems in marriage is communication and introspection, followed by communication to resolve issues.
Relying on external help might complicate simple problems and even create new conflicts.
Lastly, keeping parents out is not because they will ruin your relationship but because they might not see everything.
Their perspective is limited, and they cannot understand your partner as you do.
Emotions tied by blood prevent objective analysis.
Pursuing Dramatized Life
Some drama enthusiasts tend to oversimplify the plots.
For instance, if a show revolves around trivial marital issues and their resolution, some viewers may focus on “female empowerment” aspects.
People around them keep saying things like “women should live for themselves,” leading to abandoning families and pursuing self-realization. This is not fiction; it happens around me.
But I ask, does living for oneself mean disregarding responsibilities and realities to indulge recklessly?
Don’t interpret plots one-dimensionally. There are multifaceted lessons in them; different perspectives yield different understandings.