People who have experienced relationship betrayal often fall into a double denial. One comes from the other person, using betrayal to deny you. The other is self-denial, where you become insecure and lack confidence.

When others criticize you, it doesn’t matter. Just like the saying, “I’m not money, not everyone will like me.” Everyone has their preferences. It’s crucial to not care about others’ opinions, believe in yourself, and not worry about those who hurt you intentionally.

However, self-denial is worse. In severe cases, you start disliking and hating yourself. To be happy, you must appreciate yourself objectively, not self-loathe.

Many people facing betrayal experience severe self-denial. They lack confidence, feel powerless, and have a bleak outlook on the future. Their inner self is filled with trauma and sorrow, making them feel helpless.

The root of self-denial lies in three aspects.

First, the denials from the betrayer intensify self-denial. Your cognition system is heavily influenced by the betrayer’s attitude and evaluation of you. If they betray you, you might feel inadequate, trying to seek their approval but end up diminishing yourself.

Second, feeling helpless in dealing with post-betrayal issues leads to self-denial. You may feel incompetent in handling the aftermath of betrayal in relationships and family. This helplessness can make you resent and hate yourself, leading to extreme self-denial.

Ultimately, the fundamental cause of self-denial lies in problem cognition. Betrayal injects negative information into your mind, causing self-denial. Personality traits like pessimism and indecisiveness can make you prone to self-denial.

To overcome self-denial, you need to adjust your problem perception. Betrayal doesn’t reflect your worth; it’s the betrayer’s fault. You must focus on problem-solving and not get lost in emotions.

Reflect on these issues, find a guiding light in the darkness, and seek a way out of the maze. Strive through practical actions, gain confidence through hard work, and affirm yourself. Just like improving your grades to erase the label of being a poor student, strive to excel and keep going!