When it comes to emotions, it’s where you can truly see a person’s outlook on life.

Is human nature really that complex? Not really. The so-called complexity is just a matter of differing outlooks on life that are hard to understand.

Dealing with betrayal and hurt in relationships isn’t just about deciding to continue or end things. People who have experienced betrayal should look at what kind of outlook on life the other person hides behind the betrayal.

The idea of being “compatible in background” ultimately comes down to having similar outlooks on life. When outlooks align, being together feels effortless. When they don’t, you end up spending a lot of time and energy trying to communicate and adjust, often with unsatisfactory results.

Are outlooks on life really that important? Absolutely. Someone with a positive outlook can weather any storm and turn bad luck into good, while someone with a negative outlook, no matter how fortunate, will eventually face consequences. Perhaps only those with a positive outlook would agree with this conclusion, just as only kind-hearted individuals would respect the concept of karma and believe in the consequences of good and evil deeds.

Betrayal in a relationship is a clear sign of a negative outlook because it shows disloyalty to the relationship and irresponsibility towards marriage. If everyone in the world believed in being disloyal to relationships and irresponsible towards marriage, what’s the point of getting married? What’s left in the world would be nothing but treachery, chaos, and selfish desires.

Choosing to have a positive outlook on life doesn’t guarantee happiness. Just like how kind-hearted people may still suffer setbacks, but having a positive outlook at least allows you to have a clear conscience.

Betrayal is a deliberate act of harm, not a mistake. Those who dismiss it are often those who have betrayed others and need to justify their actions. If they were the ones betrayed, they would understand the deep pain and hurt it causes.

A couple is a unit, and for a marriage to be happy, both individuals must share similar outlooks on life. So, if one person thinks betrayal is no big deal, what about you? No, more accurately, if they think their betrayal is insignificant, what about you?

Initially, many people who have been betrayed may not agree. They often try to persuade and educate the other person, attempting to change their outlook on life. However, trying to convince someone in this way is almost always futile.

Adults’ beliefs are usually set and cannot be easily swayed by a few words or advice from others. All changes in adults must come from within, just like a chick breaking out of its shell on its own, not from an external force.

Those who have tried to persuade others will eventually realize how naive they were. If the other person truly had a positive outlook on life, they wouldn’t have betrayed and hurt them in the first place.

Yes, there are exceptions where people realize their mistakes and change their ways. But can you be sure of that in your current situation?

Therefore, there is a hidden truth in relationships: dealing with relationship issues requires living in the present. Whatever happened before, whether good or bad, is in the past. If someone has betrayed and hurt you now, you can wait to see how they will treat you in the future. But for now, they are who they are. Let go of the past and don’t fantasize about the future.

Do you know what’s the hardest thing to overcome after betrayal? It’s when you see the other person’s outlook on life through their betrayal and realize it’s deeply ingrained and incompatible with what you want in a person, a marriage, and a relationship. That’s why you can’t accept them anymore, and that knot in your heart can never be untied.

And this, surprisingly, is the result of having a positive outlook on life. In reality, many people end up having their outlook on life completely changed by their partner’s betrayal. You should understand what I mean.

Faced with the hurt and betrayal in marriage and relationships, remember the classic line from the movie “Silenced”: “We fight not to change the world, but to prevent the world from changing us.” So, for everyone who has experienced betrayal in a relationship, all your efforts are not to change others, but to prevent others from changing you!