Recently, a debate video between the celebrity Ma Weiwei and the renowned university professor, Yu Min, has gone viral. They debated fiercely on the foundation of marriage, not yielding an inch:
Female: “If someone is with you for economic reasons, then she has never truly been with you.”
Male: “Every marriage needs to consider economic aspects. A marriage without economic ties doesn’t even need a marriage certificate, right?”
Female: “Yes, isn’t that about not getting a household registration?”
Male: “Yes, isn’t a household registration about economic relations?”
Female: “The essence of a household registration isn’t about economic relations; it’s about identity.”
Male: “Can social benefits and welfare in Beijing be the same as in other places? So, when deciding to marry you, having a household registration is already taken into account—whose food to eat, whose drink to have, whose place to live in, right?”
Female: “No wonder they say you have a taste for materialism. Do you not think it’s because of your handsome appearance and profound inner qualities?”
Male: “Don’t you think I’m a very responsible man? When I marry a girl, my first thought is to take care of her food, drink, accommodation, and happiness, not relying on looks.”
Female: “Modern women’s happiness comes from your handsome appearance and profound inner qualities, not at all from a household registration.”
Male: “You completely don’t understand the importance of a Beijing household registration. Your talk is about affairs, not marriage!”
This explosive dialogue has split opinions with some siding with the man and some with the woman.
Analyzing it, you’ll see the man’s argument seems to be evading the real issue.
Ma Weiwei’s point is clear: a woman who only cares about economic aspects in marriage doesn’t truly love her partner.
Implicitly, she implies that building a marriage requires emotional dependence. A marriage based solely on economics means she doesn’t hold the other person in her heart.
On the other hand, Yu Min argues that marriage needs economic stability. A man must have financial stability to marry a woman, to build a family.
In essence, their debate reveals different perspectives and aims on marriage.
In other words, this verbal battle is about their views on courtship:
Women seek love in marriage, while men prioritize practicality.
Therefore, many in the comments remain neutral towards their debate because both are speaking truths.
Now, let’s discuss what kind of men emotionally-driven women choose in marriage.
Men who can provide shelter in their careers
In this era, it’s common for women to have their own careers, even becoming a benchmark for independent women.
Despite their strength, women still seek someone to rely on, especially in the workplace.
Women often face more challenges in the workplace than men and may even face discrimination. At such times, they hope for a man to stand up for them, protect them, support them, and cheer them on in their journey while shielding them from harm.
Many female protagonists in TV dramas fall for their male bosses. Although the boss may not end up as their husband, the bond becomes a romantic memory in their lives.
Most often, bosses do not become husbands because if they do, the woman must become a homemaker, inevitably leading to quitting her job.
Hence, women rarely choose their bosses as partners, but they may occasionally reminisce about them. Those who marry their bosses may still harbor some regrets as they have to sacrifice much for their families.
Men who are considerate in daily life
Generally, the more successful a woman is in her career, the less self-sufficient she may be in daily life.
If a woman can earn and spend money on her own, she may not care how much a man earns. Instead, she values a man’s caring gestures, seeking what is commonly referred to as a homely man.
Such men pay attention to family life, enjoy cooking and making tea, appreciate the small beauties in life. They help with household chores, cooking, childcare, and ensure there’s warm food in the kitchen round the clock.
When she’s exhausted, he embraces her, comforts her, makes her laugh, and even learns to cook her favorite meals. He may not earn much but manages finances well, arranging her life without worries.
These men willingly support her from behind; although they may appear submissive in public, they are the ones truly supporting her.
Fu Seoul’s way of marriage is like this—marriage involves two families and is the lifelong destination of two individuals. After falling in love, they do not dwell on gains and losses, learning to understand and compromise, nurturing each other.
Men who can guide her intellectually
Men who can emotionally connect with women become their confidants, engaging in soulful conversations.
Their connection transcends material aspects, supporting each other emotionally, providing a safe harbor during storms.
Like Ma Weiwei said: “I marry you not for your Beijing household registration but because I love you, I’m drawn to you as a person.
You have a handsome appearance and profound inner qualities. I have my own career and focus. I can live beautifully without relying on you, and I become better because I love you!”
He understands everything she says, agrees with her, and supports her at all times, never betraying her.
A woman’s confidant is like a poem, a painting—always there when needed, understanding her needs, comprehending her struggles, and connecting with her emotionally.
Where can one find such a well-rounded man? Life is not perfect, and charming, capable men are more attractive, while those at a disadvantage lose more.
In this era, personal growth isn’t about changing for someone; it’s for yourself. By improving oneself, you attract better people and things. If you can’t manage yourself, you’ll never handle relationships well.
True love should be a healing ground for both, providing strength in times of weakness. Each should allow the other independence.
Modern women see traditional family roles as constraints; they believe living authentically is the most crucial thing in life.
Hence, the current view on relationships should be: maintaining individuality while sharing common ground, offering each other the love they desire—this is the essence of a beautiful relationship.